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The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 11:15

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.

Christina Morris Case: Remains of Texas Woman Missing Since 2014 Found

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 11:02

Christina Morris was 23 years old when she vanished on Aug. 30, 2014.

Wynn Resorts to pay $2.6 billion to settle lawsuit with Japan's Universal

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 10:45

Wynn Resorts Ltd has agreed to pay $2.6 billion to settle a lawsuit brought by Japan's Universal Entertainment Corp and its U.S. unit, ending a six-year old dispute that pitted casino mogul Steve Wynn against his former associate Kazuo Okada. The size of the compensation was lower than market expectations and sent shares in Universal, a maker of Japanese-style slot machines and the operator of a casino in the Philippines, plunging 16 percent in Thursday trade in Tokyo. The lawsuit relates to Wynn Resorts' 2012 forced redemption of a stake held by Universal's unit Aruze USA at a 30 percent discount after an internal investigation by former FBI director Louis Freeh alleged Okada had violated U.S. anti-corruption laws.

China's Air Force May Soon Get More Russian Su-35 Fighters

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 10:09

Moscow and Beijing may have struck a deal. Multiple sources within Russia and the People’s Liberation Army Air Force suggest that Beijing and Moscow may have struck a preliminary deal for procurement by the PLAAF of more of Russian-made Sukhoi Su-35 fighters. Hong Kong-based military monthly Kanwa Defense Review reported in February that the second batch of the highly maneuverable aircraft with thrust-vectoring engines had already descended on PLA airbases in southern China.

Kenya's president and opposition leader pledge to heal divisions

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 09:51

By George Obulutsa NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenya's President Uhuru Kenyatta and opposition leader Raila Odinga promised on Friday to unite the country after elections last year in which around 100 people were killed mainly in clashes between opposition supporters and security forces. The surprise announcement could lower political tension in a country that is East Africa's richest economy and a key regional hub for security, diplomacy and trade. In a live television address with Kenyatta on the steps of the president's office, Odinga said the time had come to resolve their differences.

Woman discovers she has a twin she was separated from at birth

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 09:29

Sharon Morello, who was adopted as a baby, learned that she was separated at birth from her twin sister, who was adopted by a different family.

I Am Dying From Terminal Cancer. Here's What It's Taught Me About Living.

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 09:16

Sparkling bright and eight months pregnant, my French-speaking surgeon in Montreal, Quebec, was perhaps more direct than she would have been in her native language. She’d just removed my uterus and everything else that I could spare from my abdomen, but she was reporting on what she hadn’t been able to remove of the sarcoma that had, in just the weeks waiting for surgery, spread beyond hope in my belly.

11 Questions You Should Be Able To Answer Before You Get Married

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 09:01

“If money wasn’t a factor and the options were limitless, what would your partner be doing with their life? Do you know what excites them and lights a fire in their heart and soul? Knowing the answer to this question can help you encourage your partner to dabble in things that you know interest them.

US jobs rise at fastest rate in two years in February, but wage growth cools

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 08:50

The US added an impressive 313,000 jobs in February, but wage growth cooled, according to the latest official employment report. It was the biggest monthly increase in American non-farm payrolls since July 2016. The January wage growth figure was revised down to 2.8 per cent.

Suicide bomber kills 9 in Kabul; Taliban kill 16 in province

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 07:19

KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) — An Islamic State suicide bomber targeted Afghanistan's ethnic Hazaras on Friday, blowing himself up at a police checkpoint near a gathering of the minority Shiites in western Kabul, killing nine people and wounding 18, officials said.

Rex Tillerson: 'Talks' With North Korea, But No 'Negotiations'

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 05:51

U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson drew a distinction Friday between "talks" with North Korea and "negotiations"

The U.S. Should Not Be Subjecting Refugees To 'Reverse' Abortions

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 05:46

A January report revealed Trump administration members discussed interfering with a young woman of color’s abortion while she was in federal custody. According to VICE News, officials in the Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) considered delaying a 17-year-old refugee’s abortion procedure and instead engaging in an experimental method to “reverse” the abortion ― a controversial practice that some anti-abortion advocates have campaigned for.

Kenya's president and opposition leader pledge to heal divisions

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 05:44

By George Obulutsa NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenya's President Uhuru Kenyatta called opposition leader Raila Odinga "his brother" on Friday and promised they would both start the process of bringing the people together after last year's contentious elections. In a live television address jointly with Kenyatta on the steps of the president's office, Odinga said time had come to resolve "our" differences. It was the first public appearance by the two politicians together since a repeat presidential election last Oct. 26.

Philippine president needs 'psychiatric evaluation': UN rights chief

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 05:10

The UN human rights chief said Friday that Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte, who has launched profanity-laced diatribes against United Nations rapporteurs, needs "psychiatric evaluation". Zeid and other UN rights officials have focused significant attention on Duterte's controversial drug war.

Disney's 'Star Wars' Land Takes Shape In New Video -- And It's Huge

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 05:06

The “Star Wars” themed area at the Disneyland resort in Anaheim, California, is rapidly taking shape. “At Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, guests will be transported to the planet of Batuu, a remote outpost on the galaxy’s edge that was once a busy crossroads along the old sub-lightspeed trade routes,” the company said in a news release. A second and largely identical version of “Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge” is also under construction at Disney’s Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World in Florida. A hotel themed to the franchise is also planned.

Ex-police Officer Charged in Beating of Unarmed Black Man Accused of Jaywalking

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 00:00

It took six months and a leaked video before charges were filed in North Carolina.

Police Officer Takes on Phone Scammer: 'Can I Send a Check?'

Top Stories - Fri, 03/09/2018 - 00:00

The scammer, posing as an IRS agent, called Daniel Stief of Midland, Texas.

Former George W. Bush White House ethics lawyer eyes run for Senate

Top Stories - Thu, 03/08/2018 - 22:30

Richard Painter served as chief ethics lawyer under President George W. Bush, and has since become a high-profile critic of the Trump White House and potential conflicts of interest. Painter announced this week that he's forming an exploratory committee for a possible campaign to represent Minnesota in the U.S. Senate. Painter joins "Red and Blue."

Oakland Mayor Dings Trump After He Calls It A 'Disgrace' That She Tipped Off Immigrants

Top Stories - Thu, 03/08/2018 - 22:19

“I’m so appreciative of the Oakland community ... the feelings of being supported, of being heard, of being stood up for, those have been really wonderful for me to hear,” she added. After learning late last month that Immigration and Customs Enforcement was planning local raids, Schaaf warned residents to take precautions, saying it was her “duty and moral obligation” to warn her constituents. Oakland is a “city of law-abiding immigrants and families who deserve to live free from the constant threat of arrest and deportation,” Schaaf said.


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